Oh Texas...

Texas. One state I always wanted to go to, and once I finally got there, I hated it. Maybe it was just the city I went to.  I got an extremely bad first impression. Let me start from the beginning. 

My husband recently got deployed, and I went to visit him for a few days before he left. I had to fly from North Carolina to Texas. Alone. I left my kids with my mom and his mom. Mind you, this was my first time flying and I was terrified.  I had everything planned, or so I thought. I had my rental car booked, hotel booked, flights booked and money to spend. My mother in law dropped me off at the airport about 7a.m. Sunday morning. I got all checked in, walked around for a minute. Yes, I took some nausea medicine and some pepto tablets. Ha ha. I was taking all precautions. So, i'm sitting there and it's 8:05, the time we're suppose to be boarding. One of the staff members comes across the intercom and says that our flight has been delayed due to mechanical issues! MECHANICAL ISSUES!! That's not something a first time flyer wants to here. Well, while they are working on the issues, the staff member was working on rebooking our flights and connections that we were going to miss. He called me up 3rd and gave me my new tickets. He had me on the next flight out of that airport, by now was about ten minutes away. We had already been sitting for 2 hours. My layover at the next airport went from being 1 hour, to 8. Yes I said it, 8 hours!! Although, i'll be honest that didn't bother me much because I was terrified of the airport, it's huge. So, now I had PLENTY of time to explore, find my gate and eat some lunch. My first flight was awesome. Take off was my favorite part. It was a smaller plane, an express jet, so it was kind of cramped, but it was only a 40 minute flight. 
I had finally made it to the next airport, just in time to see the plane I was suppose to be on take off. Lovely, right? Well, I decided to play it smart. I went to a customer service desk and asked where my next gate was and how to get there. Once I found my gate, I explored around the area, found somewhere to eat some lunch, and sat down at my gate..with 7 hours to spare. So, what did I do? Pulled out my handy-dandy book and started reading. I got up for the occasional bathroom run, moved a coupe times to use the outlets for my phone, and I even snuck in a nap or two. FINALLY, 7p.m. rolls around and we're getting on the plane. It was obviously dark outside, so the city lit up like Christmas. Gorgeous. By the time I landed at my final destination, it was 8:33p.m. there, but back home it was 10:33p.pm.  That time change kicked my butt!
I got my reservation papers out of my bag and headed for the car rental place. This is where my real issues started. I got signed in and all my paperwork done and the keys..to a dodge AVENGER!! I was supposed to get a chevy Aveo....total opposite sides of the spectrum here. I didnt think anything of it. Once she added in all the fees and insurance, it came to be $549 for the week. It was suppose to be $220. Bur it with the way she described it, it would take the money out that Friday when I brought it back, and Friday was pay day so I didnt think twice about it. So I got the keys and went to baggage claim. I finally called my husband to let him know I was walking to the car. He wanted me to come see him on base before I checked into my motel. I finally made it to the base and his barracks after driving around for 15 minutes. By now he only had a few minutes to sit and talk to me. I told him about the extra fees and yada yada, he was okay with it too, since the lady said it would come out on Friday.  I went ahead and checked our bank balance, just to make sure.......DUN DUN DUN, they had already took the money out and DRAINED out bank account. I didn't have the money for my hotel room or anything. So, I took the car back to the airport and raised some cain. I gave the car back and they refunded me...$400 out of the $549, and said i should get it the next morning. They charged me over $100 to drive that car for less than an hour. Ridiculous right?? Well, I called my mother in law, I was in tears. She had to call and pay over the phone for one night at my motel so I could check in that night. The motel sent a cab for me and I finally got settled in about midnight. I didn't even change into my PJ's, i turned off all the lights, plugged up my phone and I was out. I didn't move all night long. I got a text from hubby about 7:30 saying one of his buddies was dropping him off and he was on his way. So i hustled to get up and dressed before he got there.
I'm going to skip the intimates. :) it had been 3 months since we had seen each other because he was in Texas training, so you know how that goes :)  Well we finally got the money squared away and the $400 put back in the account. I made reservations at a different motel because the one I stayed at that night creeped me out. I ended up making reservations at the wrong one and had to tell a fib to get my money back for that. I finally got us reservations at the Motel 6 for the week at a decent price. Later that week we went to hang out with some other military couples for bowling and drinks and dinner beforehand. We went to pay and our card was declined. Embarrassing. Anyways, I called the card and the car rental place had waited two days to take out the $100+ for my 1 hour.I was livid. Thank the Good Lord that we had enough cash. So, on top of the $200 my mother in law wired to our account, she added another $50 to get us to payday. Embarrassing. I don't like to borrow money, but I kind of had to. 
Well, everything else that week went okay. The goodbyes were hard, but we have talked since he has been overseas and he is doing good, and i'm keeping occupied with the kids. Time should pass fast :)

Confessions of an Army Wife

Today was day #3 of Ty being gone. Day #3 of his deployment. Day #3 without him home with the kids and I. I feel lost sometimes. I now sleep on his side of the bed because it still smells like him. I wear his t-shirts to bed, and I didn't fuss about the mess he left. 
The kids and I are moving, and it's just me to pack. I'm putting all of his clothes in vacuum seal bags so they don't get messed up, and for easier storage. I was going though and folding all his clothes last night and in almost every pair of jeans he had a skoal ring. I miss seeing that, i miss seeing him. I wouldn't care if he came home right now with a big 'ole dip in, as long as he came home.  :( 
This is hard on me. we're fairly newlyweds, and we just had our son about 5 months ago. We all knew this time was coming, but we had no idea that it would sneak up on us like it did. 
With him being gone, and it just being me here with the kids, I realize now how much i took him for granted, how much i need him, how much i truly leaned on him for help. I always rushed him to do this and do that when he got home from work I never gave him time to rest. Yeah, sometimes he got ill with me over it, but most of the time he said Okay and helped. He always watched one baby while i gave the other a bath, kept them at the house while i did the grocery shopping, watched them while i took a shower or cooked dinner. Every once and a while he would stay up with me at night to get the kids to bed. He had patience for me that I didnt have for him, and i see that now. I always got snappy with him, i was quick to argue and pitch fits, but he still stood by me. I know they say that "distance makes the heart grow fonder", but just knowing that someone you love is fixing to leave for a long time is enough to make you do a 180. A couple weeks prior to him leaving, it finally started to hit me that i needed to get my act together because my husband was fixing to leave for a whole year! Everyone who had ever been around us has told me what a change they have seen in our relationship during his last few weeks home. If only we always loved like the other was fixing to be gine for a while, things would be so much different.
Our son will be 5 months old in a few days. He looks identical to his daddy. :) I do believe that God allowed us to have little man when we did for this very reason. Even though Ty isnt here in person, i see him every time i look at our son. Its amazing how God works things. I have comfort knowing that God will be with him every step of the way. He will guide him and protect him and his platoon. Im thankful for a God that cares and loves us. 
Oh, Ty i miss you so much. 
I love you. 
Love, Me.

My Rock

Your leaving soon. I don't want you to go, but you have to, it's your duty. I haven't figured out how to say goodbye to you yet. Walking away from you to drive back home, by myself, might possibly one of the hardest things i'll ever have to do. I know i'm going to cry, just because I've such a strong face these past few weeks for the kids' sake. I'm not sure how i'm going to handle the kids when you do leave because i'm going to be torn apart for a while, i'm only human, i know its going to happen. I know i'll manage, but it will be tough, i have no doubt. i know its a lot harder on you, losing a whole family, and us only losing you for a year.....but that doesn't make it any easier for me to grasp.
These past few weeks I've begun to see how big of a part you actually play in mine and the kids lives. Your my rock, my shoulder to lean on. You've always been there for me to vent to, to cry to, to aggravate and to act up with. its going to be so different without you here. i know that we will be able to talk, video chat, and write letters, but that's still no where near as good as having you within arms distance. 
lately i have been in a foul mood and i'm sorry. now of all times is the worst time to be that way. its because i keep everything bottled up...well about you leaving, anyways. i don't want you to see me cry, your stressed enough. i'm trying to be strong for you and the kids. i know Payton will cry after you when we walk away, and that's going to suck to be 100% honest. you'll feel terrible, but i'm the one that's going to have to soothe her. i'm not trying to make you feel bad, i'm just telling you my heart. 
there is so much i want to do while your away. i have so many ideas of things to send you, pictures to take, letters to write, etc. but on top of that were trying to save money for a home and a truck for when you come home. it's going to be a tough year for both of us. for all of us. but baby, i know we can do it. we're both strong and hard headed. i wont let you get depressed and down and you better not let me :)
remember that your my rock, you have to stay strong for me, and me for you. this is a 2 way street between us. we have to meet half way to make it work this coming year. i'm going to do everything in my power to make sure you dont get too homesick, to make sure you know how loved and missed you are and what a great husband/father/son/brother you are. You are amazing, your my hero, your the love of my life, your my husband. don't you ever forget it either. 
i love you baby. more than youll ever know.
                           


                                                          Love, 
                                                                   your rock.

I give it to you, Lord

I'm having SOOO many different feelings and thoughts running through my head. I feel like I'm carrying such a heavy burden, and the only person who can begin to sort through all the mess is God. The time has come where I need to lay it all in His hands. There's nothing else that I can really do. I don't want to do anything outside of the will of God. So, the decisions that I'm left with are at a stand still until I receive that word from God that i'm so desperately in need of. I know that the "waiting'' process is going to upset and hurt quiet a few people, probably more than it should, but I can still understand. No one is hurting more than I am with these decisions, that's why I have to bring them before the Lord and let it go, and just pray.
There are several issues that im faced with, but there is one particular one that is hurting me the most. This also happens to be the one that most are concerned with. I just need to get everyone to understand that ive given it to God, and Gods will, will be done, in my life and my families lives.

Dear Lord,
I pray Lord that as I lay my problems in your hands that you guide me to make the right choices and decisions, not only when it comes to my problems, but with everyday life, God. I feel so torn because of all that has laid on me for all this time, but it's time that I lay it all in your hands.  I pray Lord that you help those around me to understand what i'm doing Father, help them to understand that i'm going about this the right way, the way that You would have me do this. I just want what's best for my family, especially my children, they are my main concern. I know Lord that you know my heart and i'm going to leave it at that. I pray that your will be done in my life and that you guide me and be with me through all my trials and triumphs. and that you stand by me and give me the strength and the courage to do what's right. Lord.
In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Little House on the Hill

So, Tyler and I are trying to fix up our little house and get moved in before little Levi gets here. We will really be able to bust a move once we get taxes back. I have so many ideas!! I think my head will explode. I cant wait to get in there and decorate, especially the kids room. I mean, decorating is pretty much the only thing I can do at this point. Being 7 months preggers I cant exactly move furniture or paint or work on the roof, ceilings and heaters haha. But that's all good because Tylers got help in that department. I wish the baby shower would hurry up and get here and over with so that I can get everything else that we need before Levi gets here and so I can completely finish their room, and the rest of the house of course. but there room is the most important.

The house is a bit of a fixer-upper because of the shape the last tenant left it in. I mean, we have to lay down carpet in our room, the kids room and  the living room, paint the kids room and ours, fix leaks in the ceiling, replace tin on the roof, buy new windows and doors with locks, put in whatever type of heating we decide to use, get a new fridge and washer, we already have a dryer. we also have to add some counters in the kitchen and the bathroom needs a good scrub, and maybe a new tub....but all in all, our tax refund, after we get my car, will cover all those expeneses. I tell you what though, God has a way of always being right on time, He knew we really needed to get into our house and have a vehicle to fit two kids in, and He made us a way. Thank You Jesus :)

Wifey; wifey.

During my pregnancy this go around, I have been very hard to get along with, and my hormones have drove everyone around me up the wall. But, yesterday was an awesome day. Ty and I got along perfect all day, I was in a good mood all day, I did ALL the laundry that has been stacking up because our washer was broke, I washed dishes, put up all the clothes, cleaned the room, even had time to take a nice hot shower. That rarely happens. And I even did all the cleaning when it was just payton and I at home lol. I guess one could say that she helped me clean....she did take all the clothes out of the drawers and hand them to me haha. I was on a bit of an OCD kick yesterday, I re-folded and color coordinated Tyler's shirts, and hung up all the jackets and work shirts.

I was even in a good mood towards Tyler, which has been almost non-existent lately. I even sat out his work clothes and his night clothes for after his shower. And just think, we haven't even started doing the Love Dare yet. There may be hope yet!! hahaha

Anyways, yesterday was just an awesome day, very good all around. Hopefully today will be a good too. :) Have a lot to look forward too with these next couple weeks :)

A Bum.

A bum came to church that Sunday morning. Everyone knew he was a bum because of his clothing, shaggy hair and his body odor. Although everyone noticed this about the man, no one mad any mention of it or tried to steer clear of the man. Instead, all the congregation, including the children and the youth, came up to the man and introduced themselves, giving him a warm welcome. The man, on the other hand, was a bit skeptical, thinking that he'd never seen such kindness out of so many people.
He sat in the back row, by himself, pretty much minding his own. The congregation stood to sing praise and worship songs, but the man still sat, even though he was very alert and in-tune to the words and his surroundings. After praise and worship, and tithes & offering, the Pastor stood to begin his sermon. This particular Sunday he preached on salvation and how much your life changes once you become a child of God, and start your walk with Him.
After the sermon, the pastor ad an altar call. The bum was reluctant at first, but the Holy Spirit had gotten a tight hold on him, and the bum walked up to the altar. He told the pastor that he would like to be saved, washed in the blood, and begin his walk with Christ. The pastor and elders of the church, along with the older of those in the congregation surrounded the man. Everyone was praying for him. The bum had tears running down his face. He gave the pastor a hug and tanked him, then turned to go back to his seat. On his way back to his seat, a young couple, somewhere in their late 20's early 30's, stopped the man. They asked him if he had any plans after the service and offered to take him to lunch and get to know him. The man agreed to go with the young couple.
At the lunch, the young couple got to know quite a bit about the man, and visa versa. Somewhere during the conversation, they had made arrangements to let the man stay at there home, under the exception that the man get a job.
Low and behold, after just a week of staying with the young couple, the man had a job, was clean shaven, in clean clothes, had a nice home cooked meal everyday and became a member of the church and very involved.

So now, anytime a 'bum' comes into the church, this man takes a particular interest in them, and he now does the same for those people that the young couple did for him. He helps them. That was God's calling for him. He helps get people of the street, and into God's word, and there life will never be the same.

:)